The Onion Movie

America's finest news source.

Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.

Cast

Len Cariou

Norm Archer

Ken Takemoto

Sensei

Steven Seagal

Cock Puncher

Larissa Laskin

Dana Dobbs

Don McManus

Dennis McCormick

Michael Bolton

Michael Bolton

Ahmed Ahmed

Ahmed

Brendan Fletcher

White Black Guy Tim

Daniel Dae Kim

Ivy Leaguer

Meredith Baxter

Cooking Show Chef

Jed Rees

Wizard Proteus

Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield